My plants in outside pots are crushed by Houston’s icy weather, even though they were covered. The succulents look as if they were never fat and tender. Ivies are withered to nothing. I talk with a friend today and find out bids she’d been hoping for have been rejected. The icy economic weather is taking its toll, too. We can withstand so much, and then there’s a breaking point. Our faith cracks, and our hope. Fear or faith. Fear or love, we always choosing one or the other, say the psychologists. I’m going to carefully trim the dead parts off each and every one of my plants. It will be interesting to me to watch them make their comeback. I’ll be excited by the first little tender shows of green. I wish I could trim the hurt from my friend. I know she’ll green again. But does she? Someone said to me over the phone this week, this is a hard planet. Yes, and yes again. What do you do when the wind is not at your back, but pushing against your every step. It makes little blisters in the heart. At the beginning of the week, a group of us looked up an old blessing:
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
What do you do when it’s hard, when you’re in the valley, and the high mountains around cover the sunlight? When there is no rain on your fields? Our internal fields are so much more fragile than outside ones. How do you yourself hold the faith?
O, may the road rise to meet you………………..
Posted in Before Versailles, Dark Angels, family, Houston, Karleen Koen, life, love, Now Face to Face, story, story and life, Through A Glass Darkly
Tagged faith, fear, hard times, Houston, how to keep going, Karleen Koen, losing hope, losing your faith, love, what to do when it's hard
I just sent off page proofs to New York. This means that not another word of the book I’ve finished will be changed. I did something I didn’t expect. I took what I thought was some worldly wisdom out of the book, deleted it. When I wrote the worldly, warning words, I was adamant about keeping them in. I don’t like sticky sweet romances. I feel like they’re a lie. But in rereading the story again, I decided that I wasn’t being fair to the character, who couldn’t know what he would do in the years ahead, and that I was killing hope, that we begin everything with hope. Time or circumstances may change that, but hope is one of the most beautiful things in our lives. We’ve never dare to anything without it. So I dropped lines that were foreboding, showing what the future would hold. I decided they reflected my own cynicism. I don’t want to be a cynic. I want to keep aspects of a child, but not deny the wisdom of my years.
What are you looking for when you read? An escape? Realism? Adventure? Why do we read fiction?
Posted in Before Versailles, books, creativity, Dark Angels, fiction, historical fiction, Houston, Karleen Koen, Now Face to Face, romance writing, story and character, story and family, story and life, story and love, story and theme, story and writing, theme, Through A Glass Darkly, writing, writing process
Tagged "Louis XIV", "Louise de la Valliere", Athenais, changing your writing, cynicism, faith, hope, page proofs, publishing, rewrites