let it spill

Thoughts from the week…………………………

First, a poem leaps out at me as I resume the habit of reading poetry daily:

My Cup by Robert Friend

They tell me I am going to die.

Why don’t I seem to care?

My cup is full. Let it spill.

Brave, bold words which strike hard at the me who has no idea how to navigate these older decades, which seem to suck so many into bitterness and despair. What was it Odysseus had to navigate? The whirlpool Charybdis….some days I row too close to the whirlpool, too far away from the sun.

I am also feeling as if I have nothing new left to say in this blog, so I look back to old blogs to recycle and come across this (slightly reworked this version) from July of 2009. It seems a hint toward finding the blessing implied in Robert Friend’s poem, and so I share it…..

Neil Young sings:

I want to live

I want to give

I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold……

and I’m getting old.

I thought about my searches for a heart of gold. What that meant to me was finding someone who would love me without ever hurting me. It was about me being loved, not so much about my loving.

And then I was reading Byron Katie, and very stark sentences leaped off the page: ultimately there is only you; you are your own suffering; you are your own happiness. And I thought about what had flitted through my mind as I hummed along with Neil Young: I’m the heart of gold.

It is the quality of my loving, which includes loving myself. And I’m growing old.”

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4 responses to “let it spill

  1. You give, you have a heart of gold – to those who know you.
    My heart of gold lies in the fact that I am content. Maybe I am too simple minded to know I shouldn’t be content…but I am. There is a peace in aging that suits me. I have health, a few close friends and a loving man. What more is there?
    Janean

  2. I anxiously await your every word. I truly enjoy your blogs. Last summer I was in your Alpine class. Even tho I don’t pretend to be a fiction writer–I LOVED your class. You gave so much of yourself and inspired me with your insights, your funnies, your book references–all, all, all.
    Thank you, and yes, we are growing old. But I try to live by “the best is yet to be”, even when the difficult becomes more difficult. How much I would enjoy studying with you again, and better yet, being your friend.
    Best,
    Alice Kolb

  3. Karleen- you should have your agent shop around for a movie deal because your stories are that good. I would think if you could make that happen you would have a great tmie making sure your characters were accurately portrayed.,etc. I would definitely go see your movies. I am sure everyone that reads these blogs would agree. A movie would be a dream come true. What do you think? start casting your characters. Who would play Alice and Richard and do them justice?

  4. Karleen – thanks for your comment about Byron Katie. She’ll turn your whole life around… in a good way!
    All the best to you,
    Mike Shaw

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