From my journal:
May 2001: I dreamed you bold and laughing, naked I sat, at my ease, warm in the blue of your eyes. I woke, old longings, old yearnings, my companions. Awake I went to you. Your eyes were dull, your body thick, the boldness was in my dreams, in my memory. I did love you. Now I love the shadow of the dream. Only in the dream are you everything I always knew you were.
February 2001: Today walking back from La Mexicana I saw a beautiful yellow parakeet flying and fluttering among brown wrens. He was the color of a day-glo magic marker.
Hello, fellow, I said, are you lost?
He answered, but I’m not certain what he said.