From my journal:
May 2001: I dreamed you bold and laughing, naked I sat, at my ease, warm in the blue of your eyes. I woke, old longings, old yearnings, my companions. Awake I went to you. Your eyes were dull, your body thick, the boldness was in my dreams, in my memory. I did love you. Now I love the shadow of the dream. Only in the dream are you everything I always knew you were.
February 2001: Today walking back from La Mexicana I saw a beautiful yellow parakeet flying and fluttering among brown wrens. He was the color of a day-glo magic marker.
Hello, fellow, I said, are you lost?
He answered, but I’m not certain what he said.
48 Mondarch butterflies took flight at Mother’s home the evening after her funeral. (My sister-in-law had them shipped to us from Dallas for the final celebration.) We acknowledged Mother’s transformation from “human being” to “spiritual being”… the “being” part is where she resides in our hearts. I understand what you are writing here, Karleen, and I am touched by your tenderness toward your Mother.